10. Coomer, O’Mara – Addendum

The band’s name is Harlem.

The album title is “Hippies”.

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Y tú sin saber

I also wanted to mention one other thing:

Drag Queen. Mekare. Llorando. Watch yourself.

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10. Coomer, O’Mara

Up until this moment, all of my titles have been lines from songs. Every. Single. Title. I guarantee you. Google that shit. I put down everything I own, I ain’t lyin’.

The above is the anomaly.

(Title Card: Last Week, Thursday)

I walk into a record store. It is a record store I did not know existed and just happened upon. It is in moments like these my inner Indiana Jones kicks in, and I must explore. For who knows what treasure may await the ardent adventurer who goes forth into the unknown….

[fast forward]

I’m holding an album I bought on an impulse. The band’s name? Harlem “Hippies”. (Yes, the quotation marks  are in the name.) The album has no title I can find. Granted, I haven’t looked on the actual record, because I am listening to it as I write this. In fact, as I wrote this I was listening to the song Gay Human Bones. <smack, smack=””> Stay on point McCullock!

I’m holding an album I bought on an impulse. The band’s name? Harlem “Hippies”. (Yes, the quotation marks  are in the name.) The album has no title I can find. I bought about six different records total, everything from The Kinks to The BEatles to Clarence “Gatormouth” Brown. <smack, smack=””> I’m GOOd, dammit! I’m good. I’m on point. Just follow. Geez.

I’m holding an album I bought on an impulse. The band’s name? Harlem “Hippies”. (Yes, the quotation marks  are in the name.)….

[fast forward]

Me: Hey. You want to listen to this with me? I have no idea who they are, or what they sound like.

Him: Sure!

{I put on Side A. Song starts….}

[long pause. VERY long.]

(He and I look at each other)

Together: I LIKE it!

I gotta tell you, I bought this record purely because of the cover. AND the name of the band.

Here. See?


I swear to you, up and down, upside down, however the fuck it’s gonna make you believe me. I bought this on a whim. And, it ended up being one of my most favorite albums of all time.

{I just walked over and flipped the record to B. There is no album title on the actual vinyl record either.}

The photos on the album sleeve are oddly alluring, and quite beautiful. I leave it to those of you who may actually be interested, to converse with me further on this topic.

The beginning is always a delicate time. When you have nowhere to go but forward (or up) then forward is the way you go. The reemergence of the caterpillar as butterfly is a metaphor long used by those who seek to artistically make sense of this life. It is usually the symbol for rebirth or coming into “who you are”. If I have learned one thing on the limited time I have had on this big ball spinning out in the midst of everything, it’s that nothing remains the same. Nothing. It’s scary to think of our lives in the terms on a light bulb. It’s always comes on until it dies. Then it’s replaced. There is a comfort, a peace, in realizing I am no different from anyone else on this planet, and it is my job to carry no more or no less than anyone who may be standing beside me.

I love the Harlem “Hippies”.


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“It was a no go for this hobo!”

I honestly have no idea where to begin.

SO much has happened. TOO much. So, let’s start much like my life at the moment…

Clean. A completely wiped, shiny new, clean slate. It is was a difficult road to this moment, but I wouldn’t change a single thing. Even 2012. Well, I guess that’s not true – I would have one thing be different. But that’s for me to know.

This year has, once again, been filled with a lot of loss. Three of my dear friends were taken before their time. Friends once close are now distant. My relationship is ended. I have moved, FINALLY, into an apartment I am subletting until the end of April, and then – who knows? My job, which I LOVE, comes to an end on the same day I have to be out of the apartment. And while that may sound like a list of not so good things, all of these things have led to the place I am right at this very moment. And it is a good, if not a bit lonely at times, place.

The best part of this transition is the fact that my son and I are finally living alone. Just he and I. Like I have dreamed of for years. It’s has been and incredible experience getting to be his father without the hurdle of my mother being in the way. I get to cook. I get to decide what we eat. I get to wash the clothes and clean and make sure he has his lunch and all the other things a parent does. It is difficult doing it alone at times. But I love every second of it, because I love being his father.

I am going to end there, because I really don;t have anything to say. I just want to get back into writing here more often and I had to start somewhere. Sometimes, just doing anything is enough.

If you’re still out there, then I want to say hello and thanks for sticking with me.

Until next time.



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What would you do if I sang out of tune?


Today is my sons thirteenth birthday. He is thirteen years old. Crazy.

Being his dad has been quite the adventure. Everything from figuring out how in the hell to be a dad in the first place, to reading The Hobbit at bedtime and doing all the voices, to telling him his grandfather – his best friend – had passed away three days after his 8th birthday. He has, through it all, been a little Buddha. And I am so incredibly proud of the young man he has become.

Based on the reaction (or overreaction) to some of my posts I have decided to not share too many personal things, especially in regards to my son. I just wanted to mark this day and celebrate him for the amazing young man he is and always has been.


Happy Birthday Monkey.

Love dad.


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1 Billion Rising – San Diego

1 Billion Rising – San Diego

Why am I doing this? Leading One Billion Rising San Diego

by Becca Noland

When I was approached to head the committee planning One Billion Rising for InnerMission Productions in San Diego I was both humbled and excited. Humbled that anyone could have that much faith in me and trust me with such an important undertaking. Excited because this event meant so much to me and I knew we could make it amazing, impactful and ground shaking.

When I was approached about kicking off our blogging for the event however, all I felt was deer in the headlight fear. How to write something that would be inspirational, thought provoking and represents our mission. Funny that stringing my thoughts together and sharing them with the world was more terrifying than the responsibility of planning a major event. The long and short of it was, planning the event is what I do, I’m good at details and I love lists. Sharing my intimate thoughts and feelings with the world? Um, not so much. So I wrote something impersonal, and it felt preachy and sanctimonious. Then I wrote something really personal and it felt like a chaotic rant. So I reached out to people.

My husband:“Just write, don’t worry about it being inspirational, just make it honest.”

My best friend:“It’s the stories that inspired your involvement, let them lead your blog.”

My little sister: “Make a list.”

And once I really listened I realized that they were all right.

So I’m giving you a little bit of all three. I was asked two questions that I have yet to answer. The first, What is your reason to rise? The second, Why did you want to lead One Billion Rising? I was having a hard time answering them, because there isn’t just one reason. As I mentioned earlier, well…I love lists. So here it is. The Answer to both questions:

1.    because I am one of the billion
2.    because of the 20 women who sat in the room with me last year and their stories
3.    because I am lucky enough to know there are good men and am loved by one
4.    for the men of MENding and their stories and strength
5.    because 14 year old girls should not be shot in the street for using their voices and asking to be educated
6.    for all the voices that have been silenced
7.    because the story of a 21 year old girl raped and killed by her neighbor should not be buried behind stories of Hollywood and reality TV drama
8.    because 19 people knew and did nothing
9.    because we will no longer be silent
10.    because 12 year old girls commit suicide to escape their abusive arranged marriages
11.     because men of power are trying to redefine rape
12.     because women of power are standing by them for “political” reasons
13.     because I HAVE A VOICE
14.     because we are not alone
15.     because I love you
16.     because we are not alone
17.     for the City of Joy
18.     for my sisters in Port-au-Prince, Bukavu, New Orleans…
19.     for the generations before, who were told to keep it themselves
20.     for my daughter, my nieces, my sisters
21.     because I want to teach my son to be a good man
22.     because I want the world to notice
23.     because we deserve to dance
24.     because I am OVER it
25.     because 1 in 3. Because there are ONE BILLION reasons to rise

I could have kept going. Those are but a few reason of why I am not only rising, but I am leading the charge. There are so many stories. Too many stories. Every day from every corner of the Earth new stories are being heard. Let’s reshape the world, let’s make sure that the stories aren’t just heard, that they are felt; they are responded to; and they are eradicated.

I will stand up and be counted on 2.14.2013. Will you join us? Will you stop the world and show them what One Billion looks like?

What does One Billion look like? Well, to borrow from Eve, on February 14th it will look like a revolution.

See you there.



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His goal in life was to be an echo

I am certain, if you have read my previous posts, you will be able to tell I am treading lightly with this one. It is delicate, and must be treated as such. I do not mean to suggest I am not going to be completely honest. I just intend to honor the delicate nature of the beast. However, I gotta talk about it because it’s exciting as all hell.

She’s really fricken cool. Funny, intelligent, charming, sweet, honest, broken and drop dead gorgeous. Her smile alone would knock you off your feet. When she’s nervous, she dances. A whole row a women all getting ready to perform, and there she is bouncing around. It’s pretty damn adorable. She has a deep faith in Christ, but isn’t an ignorant asshole. She treats people the way she wishes to be treated – done and done. She’s had horrible things done to her, and yet she still manages to shine. She likes a lot of the same geeky things I do, as well as a lot of the non-geeky things. She loves Thompson. She’s read my blog – and didn’t run away. In fact, it made her want to get to know me better. For the first time, in a very long time, I am genuinely excited about someone. Someone I honestly believe could be a good thing. I’m even willing to go to church with her. Asked her if I could, in fact. Actually, what I asked was; “Would it be weird if I said I’d like to go to church with you? The question being, would it be weird?” Her answer? “Not at all.”

She’s awesome, you guys. Really fricken, even.

Okay, so, maybe I didn’t tread as lightly as I said I would. That’s only because I have no intention of posting this unless it all works out. So, if you are reading this, it did.



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