I have taken to removing people as “friends” from my facebook account. I used to worry about upsetting someone, so I wouldn’t do it. Now, I have no problem whatsoever saying “see ya” to someone who really isn’t my friend.
Why do we hang on to things that have no purpose and bring us no joy? We cling to people as if they somehow make up the game of Jenga that is our ego. Remove the wrong piece and we fall apart. “JENGA!”
I say, f*ck that! I am very fortunate to have people in my life that I can honestly call friend. They are good and decent people who I respect a great deal. Add to that, they actually love me and want me to be happy and whole. THAT is a friend. Just because some cyber-social-site has used the term “friend” to describe the people who follow along on your daily exploits with no real commitment to who you are or your well being doesn’t actually define that person as a “friend”.
I’m gonna veer a bit. Many many years ago, a bitch I used to date said, “We are defined by our choices.” She was truly a bitch, but she was right. We are defined by our choices. And, I have made some very very bad choices over the course of my life. However, I can honestly sit here now with my head held high – as I have done the work on myself. Faced the demons, acknowledged mistakes, suffered the loss and came out the other side. One of the many lessons I learned from that experience is that I cannot waste my time on useless people. I am sorry to be harsh, but let’s be honest. Someone who takes and takes and never gives in return is useless. If you can explain to me how having such a person in your life is a benefit, I will take it all back.
Back to the main point; Facebook friends. I have been going through and doing some house cleaning lately. Reaching out to a few people just to say hello and see what they are up to. Depending on the interaction that follows, if there even is one, they get the thumbs up or thumbs down. I am Caesar, and you suck.
There are several people who I have given a sort of “diplomatic immunity”. The friends I have known and loved for years, or individuals who may not be a part of my every day life or social circle but have proven themselves to be quality persons who I feel fortunate to know. These people need make no effort, as they are who they are want nothing more from me than for me to be who I am. I am sure you know what I mean, and if you don’t – wow, do I feel sorry for you.
Maybe I am just a dick. It’s possible. But, I make no apologies for not wanting someone in my life that is in no way a positive influence. What is the point of that?
I am not perfect, but I am a good guy. And with each passing day I try to be better. So, I say this with the most sincere attempt and remaining friends:
- Step up and admit you like her. Be a man and talk to me.
- Don’t ask me to come see your show over and over and over and over and over again if you are in no way going to return the support.
- Just because you are afraid of men, doesn’t mean I am going to be what you fear. How about you give me the opportunity to stand apart. True, I am not gay – which you obviously find safe in men. That doesn’t automatically mean I want you just because you are a woman. Get over yourself and stop judging me.
- Just because I am a guy doesn’t mean I am probably gay. I don’t care if you are, so how about you let me not be. Cool?
- Yes, it’s big.
- I stole <grin> from Glen.
- Have the balls to tell me the truth. Ignoring me is not an acceptable option. I HATE that, because I am an imaginative guy. If you leave me to fill in the blanks, there are way too many possibilities and it drives me insane. I would rather hear the truth, always, even if it’s something I don’t want to hear.
- And finally, (not really – I could go on for hours) all I ever want is for people to be themselves. If that means we don’t mesh – that’s okay. It doesn’t say anything about either of us. It simply means it’s not our time right now.
I was trying some humor in what I wrote here, but my last bullet is ultimately my over all point. It doesn’t matter if you don’t get along with someone. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like someone, or if they don’t like you. All you ever have to do is be true to who you are, and the rest will follow. If you’re an a-hole, then you are probably surrounded by people who don;t like you and you cannot trust. If you are a good soul, then that is probably what surrounds you.
Like Gandhi said, “Be the change.”