In the immortal words of Lili Von Shtupp, “I’m tired.”
As I have grown and (ahem) matured, there is really only one thing I want from anyone – I just want to be able to be myself. If I cannot talk to you or spend time with you and feel like I can say what is on my mind or in my heart then what is the point? I have been through too much for the high school drama most people engage in.
I think there comes a point in everyone’s life, at many times throughout your life, where you can no longer deny the changes you need to make. A decision about yourself or your life that you have somehow been able to ignore or forget about until it is so blatantly obvious you’d have to be an absolute moron to not address it.
Example; there’s that thing you know damn well you NEED to do or change. You’ve known it for a very long time, but have been able to let it slip your mind. Or, better yet, been able to rationalize still doing it for just a bit longer. This goes on for some time, until finally – one day – it’s sitting in front of you tapping you on the f*cking forehead screaming, “HELLO A-HOLE! You need to change this.”
It is far too easy to wallow in misery and feel bad about the things that get us down. To just turn on the TV and forget the myriad of things we could be doing at that exact moment that would be bringing us joy or, dare I say it, contentment. Physical activity to get the endorphins rushing, or perhaps some educational pursuit. Anything other than wasting precious moments of an already too short existence.
Here’s my suggestion – buy a kite, find a friend or loved one you love to spend time with, go to the beach or a park, fly the damn kite. Just sit outside with someone dear to you, talking and watching this marvel of simple engineering float in the wind. I guarantee you will not be able to stop smiling, and you will remember it forever.
Having been through all I have been through these past few years, and finding myself in the place I am now – I feel like I have a duty (huh huh… I said duty) to reach out to anyone who will listen with care and compassion and say, “It’s all okay. Forgive who you need to forgive – especially if it’s yourself. Love who you need to love – especially if it’s yourself. And, above all else, live your life well.”
Sometimes jumping into the darkness is the most exciting moment of your life – and the most alive you can possibly feel.
Now, about that kite…