I knew my entire attitude had changed when I was able to see this newest “moment” not as a set back, but as a way to prove to myself the strength of my resolve. The best thing I can do is to, in the immortal words of Gold Five, stay on target.
It is so familiar to me to spin out when I get hit with something that is upsetting. Like an addict, my tendency is to cling to it and stew. I guess those days are behind me. Even though I felt a deep sadness and experienced thoughts that would have driven Pink mad, (Wow. The obscure reference is just flowing tonight) I “maintained low tones”. (Couldn’t resist that one)
There were moments, I will not lie. If I am truly to succeed in this venture, then I must be forthcoming in all things. This one was difficult, for sure. But, here I am. Still standing, better than I’ve ever been. (Okay. I’ll stop)
It’s funny how the simple change in perspective can produce glorious results. I was actually rewarded for my success. Much like a gold star on a well done spelling test, I had something happen to me tonight that lifted my spirits significantly. I am grateful to be able to report that.
All in all – I’m trying. Doing my best to live each day as an example to myself – and above all, my son. After all, he will look to me at times on how to conduct himself, and how to handle things that come your way. I owe it to him to thrive, and climb those steps arms held high while “Gonna Fly Now” plays. (I said I would stop, didn’t I? Sorry.) At this point it would be so incredibly selfish of me to wallow and pine over what I don’t have, when what’s right in front of me is the most amazing thing ever.
<deep breath> <let it out>
And, off we go….