I think I’m happy, but I don’t know why…

(I realized I hadn’t quoted any Tiny Frank yet, so there it is.)

So, I have been leery to write about this, quite honestly, because of the theme of my recent posts.  I am doing so well, and feeling really good, and I didn’t want to admit that the weather had been strangely representative of my mood.  But, there it is.  I have felt a little down.

The thing is; I was recently (emotionally and metaphorically) punched in the gut, and I have dealt with the emotions surround that gut punch ever since.  I will say this, to my credit, I have not spiraled into dark places like I used to.  However, in trying to cling tenaciously to the “new and improved” I ignored one of the biggest lessons I have learned.  You must embrace the truth and live it. By trying to deny your feelings, you do nothing but prolong the pain associated with them.

All I want, honestly, is to stand tall and be unaffected. I don’t want to “not care”, or be angry.  I don’t want to focus negativity in trying to make myself feel better. I want to truly have my own emotional, spiritual and physical well-being remain solid. To be able to let things that are beyond my control simply be.  All I can do is keep up the wish to make choices that lead me to better things and happier times – all out of a deep want to be a genuinely good man.  To continue on this road I have found myself on, and move forward.  Always forward.

I am an emotional human being, so things affect me.  I am grateful for this.  It makes me compassionate and loving, and only serves to strengthen my connection to humanity at large. There may be things I want to change about myself, but that is definitely not one of them.

Sorry to be cryptic, but I don’t want to get into what exactly happened.  All I wish to say is; I knew it would happen, and now it has.  I can finally move on.  It may hurt now, but it wont hurt forever. And, in the end, I am truly happy.

You know what sounds good?  A nice breakfast.


About "Mike"

"We only become what we are by the radical and deep-seated refusal of that which others have made of us." - Jean-Paul Sartre "Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life." - Herbert Otto "Heed the still small voice that so seldom leads us wrong, and never into folly." - Marquise du Deffand "Your real influence is measured by your treatment of yourself." - A. Bronson Alcott "Energy and persistence conquer all things." - Benjamin Franklin "If we all did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves." - Thomas Edison "A man who finds no satisfaction in himself will seek for it in vain elsewhere." - La Rochefoucauld
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2 Responses to I think I’m happy, but I don’t know why…

  1. Lia says:

    Chili dog.


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