Hello friends. It has been a while. Once more into the bachelor bat-cave for a little soul-searching and reflection. Quite a lot has happened during my time away. New and powerful friends, reconnecting with old ones, a journey north, a death in the family, missing Jakob while he is on break in Riverside and more. First things first; let’s talk assumptions.
The one thing that keeps rearing its ugly head as a major reason for conflict is assumptions. We all make them, but some of us cling to them a little too tightly. An event will occur, or something is said, and we immediately form an opinion about it. Some try to dig deeper and find out what the truth of it is. While others, most people in fact, will simply accept that their take on what just went down is fact. Even if what they believe is truth is nowhere near it. As humans, this is (quite possibly) out greatest stumbling block. The arrogant notion that we KNOW where someone else is coming from. That despite any explanations they may have, our take on the situation is the correct one.
The shame of this is that it is ultimately unavoidable. It is a part of the human system, and therefore must be accepted as a part of the ecosystem. What can help is recognizing it. Like a virus, or a bacteria, there are ways to combat the act of assumption so that it doesn’t get in out way. First and foremost is the ability to listen.
If we can open our hearts and minds and really hear what someone has to say instead of what we think they are saying, then we have already begun to change the game. Ask for clarification if you don’t understand. Repeat what they say back to them, to make sure you heard them right. I am not saying it is always mis-communication. Some people suck. I’m just saying, not everyone is a douche. And most of the time our reaction to a person has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with us. “Why did I react that way?” is by far the healthiest response you could have. Or better yet, “What is it about that that caused me to feel this way?”
If we can be honest with ourselves in moments of crisis, and look to the truth – ugly or not – then we have taken an important step in making the world a better place by being the change.
I have missed you.
I hope you are well.