You reach up, touch my mouth and tell me, “Shhhh.”

A few months back, I gave a note to a friend of mine. Hid it in her house (it was a challenge, proposed by her) for her to find. The note was titled; A list of things you need to know about me. The list consisted of 70 things. Not because that’s all there is to know about me, but because leaving it at 69 seemed tacky. Here are a few selections from my list.

I must add: The list began with this disclaimer –

These are not in any particular order. I wrote them as I thought of them. The numbers are merely there to differentiate; except for number 1.

1. My son always comes first.

2. I am a total geek. 100% dork. Nerd. I love Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. I quote them and have serious discussions about them. I also read sci-fi, comics and watch Doctor Who with equal admiration and love. I am a geek.

a)      Yes, I own a light-saber.

b)      It is red.

c)       The dark side rules.

7. I love pizza.

10. I hate the song Total Eclipse of the Heart more than I could ever explain.

18. I once stood in front of the fast ball in a batting cage just to see what it felt like to be hit by one.

19. I am one of those people who are not content to simply talk about something; I need to know it for myself. (see #18)

24. I have been known to slap my knee or clap when I laugh.

33. I love kissing.

53. I have a weakness for chocolate chip cookies.

67. I have to be honest, even if it scares the shit out of me, because I refuse to live my life other than truthfully – even if it means I end up alone.

As I have never written anything like this list before, I will leave the rest to mystery. Primarily to honor the bond of love and respect I have with this particular friend. (You’re my boy, Bloo)

It is ultimately number 67 that brings me here today. Anyone who has read these posts knows how much I have struggled with honesty. Finding my way to living truthfully without jeopardizing my relationships in the process. I honestly cannot remember if I have made this metaphorical comparison before – but, it is still appropriate….

After what all I lost due to being false and selfish, I set out to be the exact opposite. Like someone discovering they have a new super power, I often misjudged and used the gift of honesty with poor choice. I alienated myself because I told people things they didn’t want to hear, and then felt rejected when they got angry at me for it. It was a tricky and difficult time, but the important lessons are never easy to learn – are they?

I feel I have found a place of warmth and beauty. I no longer see myself solely in the mirrors reflection, but also in the beautiful individuals I have come to know, respect and love… with all my heart. I notice smiles more often than I used to. I laugh with my entire body. (See #24) When someone hugs me it feels genuine and warm – the exact communication a hug is supposed to give. I walk with the badassitude of a badass walking in slow motion. It’s remarkable. Although, often people stare.

I am grateful. Truly. So much good has come to me that I feel humbled and rich beyond measure. Kindness is prevalent. Respect and honor. Heartfelt smiles and welcoming embraces. It’s. All. Good.

And, all because I found the truth…

67. I have to be honest, even if it scares the shit out of me, because I refuse to live my life other than truthfully – even if it means I end up alone.

All people want is for you to be real. The rest is freedom.

I’m gonna go eat some tacos.



About "Mike"

"We only become what we are by the radical and deep-seated refusal of that which others have made of us." - Jean-Paul Sartre "Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life." - Herbert Otto "Heed the still small voice that so seldom leads us wrong, and never into folly." - Marquise du Deffand "Your real influence is measured by your treatment of yourself." - A. Bronson Alcott "Energy and persistence conquer all things." - Benjamin Franklin "If we all did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves." - Thomas Edison "A man who finds no satisfaction in himself will seek for it in vain elsewhere." - La Rochefoucauld
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